The first thing that pops into your head: The Lion King, right? But that's not the circle I'm talking about. In my world, the circle of life starts with a bug - you know the kind that makes you vomit up your favorite food (making sure you'll never eat it again), gives you a terrible fever that causes hallucinations or takes away your ability to breathe. I'm talking about our friends Virus and Bacteria.
In my house, the circle usually starts with our two-and-a-half year old son. Typically his symptoms include a runny nose, fever, a cranky attitude and nasty, nasty diapers. After a few days, he's back on his feet running around and being loud but now Mom's got the bug. It affects Mom differently. Mom has a migraine, is exhausted, vomiting at the thought of food, can barely get out of bed, has blurry vision and can't sleep. Again, after a few days when Mom is feeling better it's Dad's turn. It also hits dad in a different way. He likes to pretend he's fine, he feels sick, moans a lot and needs a lot of TLC to get him through it. Like with baby and Mom, after a few days Dad will be back on his feet. But as we all know, a circle has no end. So it's usually just a matter of weeks before the bug has transformed again and is sneaking into our lives - only this time it will be different, causing the family to go through box after box of kleenex and a bottle of lotion to soothe the sore noses before hiding away, plotting it's next move.
We scrub the house, change the sheets, replace the toothbrushes and do all of the dishes - but it doesn't help. These buddies of ours are immortal. Someone needs to shoot an arrow through our circle - give the bug a run for it's money....I bet he'd be too confused by the hole (or at least let it block off the "Mom" section of the circle)!
Friday, May 30, 2008
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
My very own video game.
I'm not the kind of girl who can sit down in front of the TV playing a video game for hours on end day after day and enjoy myself. Sure, there are a few games out there that I enjoy (Super Monkey Ball anyone?), but 30 minutes or so, and I'm out. I don't get mad at my TV, I don't scream or yell or bang things against the floor in frustration. I get bored. I quit. My fiance is my total opposite, he does all of the above, it's a stress reliever for him. He plays some game a minimum of 30 minutes (often longer) a day 6/7 days a week. I don't hold it against him, as long as I can have the comfy chair when I want it and his attention when I need it.
This weekend I went shopping and now it will be a fight for which one of us gets the TV/Game system (longevity vs. bitchy female!). That's right, I found a game that I will play for lengthy periods of time, multiple times a week. Hogging the TV, and most of the living room floor. Dance Dance Revolution! I can't get enough of those arrows, the beat and stomping around like a maniac. I love feeling a little out of breath and exhausted when I finish. I feel like a superstar (even though I look like and idiot)! "Perfect!" "65 Combo!" "A!" I love it.
The best part about the game is that it's more than a game. I can "play" it. There are levels to beat, challenges to pass and points to earn - but it's also a work out. A work out I can do in my own living room - and one I can enjoy. (For those of you who know me, I'm not trying to lose any weight - just build my endurance. For those of you who don't know me, I'm a measly 112 pound twenty-something who can't seem to pack on a pound for the life of me. Don't hate me.) I look forward to hiding from the fresh air and sun this summer and beating away on the floor of my apartment.
This weekend I went shopping and now it will be a fight for which one of us gets the TV/Game system (longevity vs. bitchy female!). That's right, I found a game that I will play for lengthy periods of time, multiple times a week. Hogging the TV, and most of the living room floor. Dance Dance Revolution! I can't get enough of those arrows, the beat and stomping around like a maniac. I love feeling a little out of breath and exhausted when I finish. I feel like a superstar (even though I look like and idiot)! "Perfect!" "65 Combo!" "A!" I love it.
The best part about the game is that it's more than a game. I can "play" it. There are levels to beat, challenges to pass and points to earn - but it's also a work out. A work out I can do in my own living room - and one I can enjoy. (For those of you who know me, I'm not trying to lose any weight - just build my endurance. For those of you who don't know me, I'm a measly 112 pound twenty-something who can't seem to pack on a pound for the life of me. Don't hate me.) I look forward to hiding from the fresh air and sun this summer and beating away on the floor of my apartment.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Relinquish Control? I don't think so!
In just under 3 months, I will be a married woman. As of August 22, I will have spent just over 18 months planning the wedding of my (our) dreams. The idea of hiring a wedding planner never crossed my mind. I'm a "I'll do it myself thank you very much" kinda girl. Early on, we made the decision to forgo a DJ for a newer trend - the iPod wedding. I was looking forward to sitting down with Mike and picking out hours of music that we liked. No fear of hearing a song we hate, no worries about a DJ with a bad attitude - and best of all, it would cost us virtually nothing. Afterall, we both own iPods.
But, over the past few weeks reality has set in. I can't really do it all alone, I have so many partially finished projects laying around. Boxes of supplies - it's going to be an adventure sorting through it all and making sure I have it all going to the right place at the right time. The last thing I needed was to worry about having the iPod, all proper cables and cords, someone to hook it up and someone to switch it to the proper playlist for the time of evening. Plus, do you have any idea how long it could take to figure out 6 hours of music!
So, swallowing my pride, I suggested to Mike last night that we bit the bullet and hire someone to deal with the music portion of the evening for us. With little to no hesitation - he agreed. Sure, I am feeling a little strange for relinquishing control over the sound of the night, but in reality - I couldn't be more excited.
But, over the past few weeks reality has set in. I can't really do it all alone, I have so many partially finished projects laying around. Boxes of supplies - it's going to be an adventure sorting through it all and making sure I have it all going to the right place at the right time. The last thing I needed was to worry about having the iPod, all proper cables and cords, someone to hook it up and someone to switch it to the proper playlist for the time of evening. Plus, do you have any idea how long it could take to figure out 6 hours of music!
So, swallowing my pride, I suggested to Mike last night that we bit the bullet and hire someone to deal with the music portion of the evening for us. With little to no hesitation - he agreed. Sure, I am feeling a little strange for relinquishing control over the sound of the night, but in reality - I couldn't be more excited.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
So I cry, big deal!
I cry. A lot. I cry when I am angry, sad, frustrated, tired, cranky, emotional, overwhelmed, happy and stressed. I cry at weddings, during movies, when I see little babies. I cry. A lot.
Normally, I don't care that I'm a crier - it's a great release of whatever emotion is building up inside of me and it feels good. But lately, I've been crying over things that I shouldn't even care about! For example, this morning I was listening to the radio and a woman won $10,000(!). They asked her what she was going to do with her money and she said "Next year is my husband and my 25th anniversary - we never got to take a honeymoon, now we can afford to go to Hawaii like we've always wanted." I started sobbing!
After I wiped off my mascara stained cheeks - I started thinking I can't be the only crazy person out there! So here's the question: Have you ever cried for a stranger?
Normally, I don't care that I'm a crier - it's a great release of whatever emotion is building up inside of me and it feels good. But lately, I've been crying over things that I shouldn't even care about! For example, this morning I was listening to the radio and a woman won $10,000(!). They asked her what she was going to do with her money and she said "Next year is my husband and my 25th anniversary - we never got to take a honeymoon, now we can afford to go to Hawaii like we've always wanted." I started sobbing!
After I wiped off my mascara stained cheeks - I started thinking I can't be the only crazy person out there! So here's the question: Have you ever cried for a stranger?
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
I Hate Sex.
In 3 months, I will be married. Honestly, I can't wait to call him Husband - but I am afraid. I feel more safe and comfortable in our "friendship love" than our "sexual love" but I also know that sexual love is essential to a healthy marriage. I don't know that I truly hate sex, I can enjoy it - but only occasionally and only if I am in exactly the right mood both mentally and physically. Most of the time I could care less if I ever have sex again. I have been asked by those I have discussed this with "Are you attracted to your fiance?" The answer is YES! YES! YES! He is handsome, sexy and everything I ever dreamed of. When we do have sex, it's amazing! It's like my mind and body are totally disconnected. There are many times that my body shows signs of physical arousal, but my mind doesn't follow.
I know I am not alone, I can't be the only woman out there who can't wrap her mind around enjoying sex. So, I did some research and learned that this is a common problem. A lot of women get turned off by the thought of sex after giving birth due to hormone changes, exhaustion, fear of getting pregnant again and an internal desire to be "mom" and only be there for the child. It goes away, eventually. For some it's a few months, for others it can be years and years. Basically the problem lies in my head and I have to overcome this mental road block in order to enjoy sex again. I have explained this to my fiance, but I don't think he fully grasps it. Why would he? His fiance hates to have sex with him. If I were in his shoes, I'd be upset too. It has absolutly nothing to do with him, it's me. I don't want to be like this, but it's not a straight-forward fix.
I have no idea how long it's going to take to overcome my "problem" - I hope that the excitement of starting a new life as husband and wife will unlock some doors in my mind - but it just might take more.
I know I am not alone, I can't be the only woman out there who can't wrap her mind around enjoying sex. So, I did some research and learned that this is a common problem. A lot of women get turned off by the thought of sex after giving birth due to hormone changes, exhaustion, fear of getting pregnant again and an internal desire to be "mom" and only be there for the child. It goes away, eventually. For some it's a few months, for others it can be years and years. Basically the problem lies in my head and I have to overcome this mental road block in order to enjoy sex again. I have explained this to my fiance, but I don't think he fully grasps it. Why would he? His fiance hates to have sex with him. If I were in his shoes, I'd be upset too. It has absolutly nothing to do with him, it's me. I don't want to be like this, but it's not a straight-forward fix.
I have no idea how long it's going to take to overcome my "problem" - I hope that the excitement of starting a new life as husband and wife will unlock some doors in my mind - but it just might take more.
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