With my wedding less then a month away, I have realized just how out of shape I am. A few weeks ago, at another wedding - I could only make it through two or three songs before I had to take a breather! Not really how I want it to work at my wedding, not to metion the exploring and walking we hope to do on our upcoming honeymoon!
So, what can I do to fix this situation? In a month, realistically nothing - but I can dream can't I?
I own a DDR game, so why not pull it out everynight? It's tricky to play with a toddler who wants to help mommy - so I have to wait until after bedtime, but his bedtime is about my bedtime and I don't want to get all worked up right before bed.
Lunch Break Rollerblades: I used to do this two-three times a week, but I have gotten lazy. With the busy life I lead, a break like that just seems like too much work, I'd rather read a blog and eat a cookie on my break!
Go to the Workout center at your apartment: See excuse for DDR. Plus, there might be other people there who would make fun of me for my sorry excuse of a workout.
You said you haev a kid, run around with him: But we live in an apartment, so the play area is limited to a parking lot, which just isn't safe - and I get too paranoid at the playground, what if he gets hurt? So I focus too much on that or on taking pictures to make it a workout.
See, I can come up with an excuse for any kind of workout routine, the biggest one is time, where could I find the time to workout! And really, will three weeks of doing something make any difference at all? I think not.
What kinds of excuses do you have?
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Thursday, June 26, 2008
A giant ball of stress...
I tend to get stressed about the littlest things. I tend to stay stressed about these same things long after they are finished - worrying that they are going to come up again or there will be some repurcussion...these past few weeks (and next 2 months) are a big, giant ball of stress and like I mentioned last time - I don't know if/how I will make it through.
I already knew I was mentally breaking down, but now it's taking it's toll on me physically. I went to bed last night with a headache, sore throat and runny nose. I woke up this morning exhausted, sore, with a bad headache and the throat and nose were still bad. As soon as I got my son in the car, the nausea hit and I started vomiting all over the parking lot of our apartment - only my belly was empty and the only thing coming up was the crap from my nose that had drained into my belly. Nasty!
I am feeling better now, a few hours later - but I still have nearly 5 hours of work left (a late night) before I can head home to bed. I think I might just have to take Friday off.
It sucks how a few stressful or overwhelming things can destroy all aspects of your life overnight!
I already knew I was mentally breaking down, but now it's taking it's toll on me physically. I went to bed last night with a headache, sore throat and runny nose. I woke up this morning exhausted, sore, with a bad headache and the throat and nose were still bad. As soon as I got my son in the car, the nausea hit and I started vomiting all over the parking lot of our apartment - only my belly was empty and the only thing coming up was the crap from my nose that had drained into my belly. Nasty!
I am feeling better now, a few hours later - but I still have nearly 5 hours of work left (a late night) before I can head home to bed. I think I might just have to take Friday off.
It sucks how a few stressful or overwhelming things can destroy all aspects of your life overnight!
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Done.
On the verge of a mental breakdown. It's too much and I don't think I can handle it all anymore. Between my job and my family, life is stressful enough but throw the wedding (1 month 28 days to go), the maid-of-honor responsibilities and my crazy family into the mix and I just don't think I can hold it together.
It's enough to put me over the edge when I look at my calendar. There isn't more then 3-4 days in the next month that I don't have something going on - and in the time not filled with meetings and appointments I have to try and keep my house clean, play with my son, finish projects for the wedding/s, breath, take a shower and sleep. Add my health issues to the bowl and it's a recipe for disaster.
Not only am I breaking down, but I am hurting the people around me. I get crankly with my fiance and end up breaking down because of an email that reads: "Why are you being cranky??? I sure as hell didn't do anything to you. If you want or need me to do something for you why don't you just ask. I'm not a mind reader." Hey honey, you know what I need - a break. I need some good quality alone time. I need a nice night out with you, no stress. I need us to be a couple sometimes. I need a change of routine. I need a chance to escape all of this crap that's going on. I need help. I need you to not sigh and roll your eyes at me when I ask a question about the wedding. I need you to hold me. I need you to fill in the long pauses in our conversations with anything that might make me feel better and I need you to understand that it's not you that I'm upset with, but when you're the one who is there, it seems that way. I just need you to love me.
So, my brother is going to be staying with us for a few nights a week, my mom called to confirm that she kicked the older of my brothers out of her house, and wants to do the same with the youngest (and mentally challenged one). I get thrown in the middle of situations that don't involve me and I don't know how to say no. I love my brothers so much, and I hate to see the way they are being treated - they just don't understand that it's a two way street and their actions cause a lot of the consequences - fair or not.
I want to walk up to everyone and say "I Quit". I just can't deal with it anymore. Now I am going to climb in my bed and not come out 'til Christmas.
It's enough to put me over the edge when I look at my calendar. There isn't more then 3-4 days in the next month that I don't have something going on - and in the time not filled with meetings and appointments I have to try and keep my house clean, play with my son, finish projects for the wedding/s, breath, take a shower and sleep. Add my health issues to the bowl and it's a recipe for disaster.
Not only am I breaking down, but I am hurting the people around me. I get crankly with my fiance and end up breaking down because of an email that reads: "Why are you being cranky??? I sure as hell didn't do anything to you. If you want or need me to do something for you why don't you just ask. I'm not a mind reader." Hey honey, you know what I need - a break. I need some good quality alone time. I need a nice night out with you, no stress. I need us to be a couple sometimes. I need a change of routine. I need a chance to escape all of this crap that's going on. I need help. I need you to not sigh and roll your eyes at me when I ask a question about the wedding. I need you to hold me. I need you to fill in the long pauses in our conversations with anything that might make me feel better and I need you to understand that it's not you that I'm upset with, but when you're the one who is there, it seems that way. I just need you to love me.
So, my brother is going to be staying with us for a few nights a week, my mom called to confirm that she kicked the older of my brothers out of her house, and wants to do the same with the youngest (and mentally challenged one). I get thrown in the middle of situations that don't involve me and I don't know how to say no. I love my brothers so much, and I hate to see the way they are being treated - they just don't understand that it's a two way street and their actions cause a lot of the consequences - fair or not.
I want to walk up to everyone and say "I Quit". I just can't deal with it anymore. Now I am going to climb in my bed and not come out 'til Christmas.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Oh, the government...
In just 2 short months, a married woman I will be. That being said, it's about time our invitations headed out of our home and into the hands of our friends and family. So, yesterday (advice from many brides before me) I headed out to get my babies hand-canceled and in the mail. I went to multiple post offices:
Post Office One: (Older man) "I am sick of brides who think that the entire system should revolve around their wants. I refuse to hand cancel another frilly invitation." (My thoughts: Oh man! I wouldn't want this guy touching my invitations to begin with - they'd never see the light of day again!)
Post Office Two: (Young man) "I'm sorry, we stopped hand canceling things after September 11 (what?). We don't even have a hand stamp available. Me: How do you cancel stamps on odd sized packages and envelopes? Him" "With this hand stamp." (My thoughts: Uh...contradiction anyone? He obviously wasn't interested in helping me out, as he had called the next person up before I could say anything. Sigh, off to the next branch)
Post Office Three: (A nice older woman. Note, this is a large central hub branch) "I'm sorry sweetie, we don't offer that service at this location. Although, we do offer it as a whole. Usually a small office in a quiet area will be able to assist you - or stop by a little store that offers postal services. Good luck." (My thoughts: Finally, hope! A chance! Note to self: If you can't find anyone to do it, you trust that this woman would get them in the mail safely.)
Final Post Office Four: (Another nice, older woman (see any patterns?) "[loudly] I like chocolate chip cookies! (What?) [softly] I am usually alone at the counter from 12-12:30. Bring them in then, and as long as there are less then 50 I will get them done for you. [loudly] Sorry sweetie (wink)." (My thoughts: Does she seriously want cookies? Is that bribery? Is that legal? Is she going to get fired? Store bought or homemade cookies? I don't have time to make cookies! Oh well, hand canceled tomorrow at noon it is!)
So, four seperate post offices - four seperate answers. Four very different people who all move at the pace of a snail. But, at the end of the day - I think I'll get what I want and none of them uttered the dreaded "B" word! (Bride-zilla).
Post Office One: (Older man) "I am sick of brides who think that the entire system should revolve around their wants. I refuse to hand cancel another frilly invitation." (My thoughts: Oh man! I wouldn't want this guy touching my invitations to begin with - they'd never see the light of day again!)
Post Office Two: (Young man) "I'm sorry, we stopped hand canceling things after September 11 (what?). We don't even have a hand stamp available. Me: How do you cancel stamps on odd sized packages and envelopes? Him" "With this hand stamp." (My thoughts: Uh...contradiction anyone? He obviously wasn't interested in helping me out, as he had called the next person up before I could say anything. Sigh, off to the next branch)
Post Office Three: (A nice older woman. Note, this is a large central hub branch) "I'm sorry sweetie, we don't offer that service at this location. Although, we do offer it as a whole. Usually a small office in a quiet area will be able to assist you - or stop by a little store that offers postal services. Good luck." (My thoughts: Finally, hope! A chance! Note to self: If you can't find anyone to do it, you trust that this woman would get them in the mail safely.)
Final Post Office Four: (Another nice, older woman (see any patterns?) "[loudly] I like chocolate chip cookies! (What?) [softly] I am usually alone at the counter from 12-12:30. Bring them in then, and as long as there are less then 50 I will get them done for you. [loudly] Sorry sweetie (wink)." (My thoughts: Does she seriously want cookies? Is that bribery? Is that legal? Is she going to get fired? Store bought or homemade cookies? I don't have time to make cookies! Oh well, hand canceled tomorrow at noon it is!)
So, four seperate post offices - four seperate answers. Four very different people who all move at the pace of a snail. But, at the end of the day - I think I'll get what I want and none of them uttered the dreaded "B" word! (Bride-zilla).
Thursday, June 19, 2008
I'm not [really] a germ-a-phobe...
I just hate public bathrooms. I hate them with a passion and will avoid using them by all means possible. Occasionally I have to suck it up, take a deep breath and do it BUT my behind never touches the seat and I scrub up an shower as soon as possible because I just feel nasty!
About 9 months ago I started a new job. There are about 20 people in my office, and another 50 or so on the floor and we all share one public restroom. Gross. I've gotten really good at holding in my 2+ cups of coffee and can of diet soda every day - running quickly to the bathroom when I got home. Sure, there were some days I couldn't make it that long, but I sure did my best!
This week was a landmark week for me. I managed to march down to the ladies room and use it, twice, (once with someone in the stall next to me (something else I hate, I don't want to listen to you pee....and I don't want you to listen to me! Oh, and don't even THINK about talking!!!)). Sure, I am only comfortable in the corner stall, and prefer it when there is noone else in there with me; but it's good to know that if I want to, I can go!
So raise your cup to me today - the girl who can finally pee at work!
About 9 months ago I started a new job. There are about 20 people in my office, and another 50 or so on the floor and we all share one public restroom. Gross. I've gotten really good at holding in my 2+ cups of coffee and can of diet soda every day - running quickly to the bathroom when I got home. Sure, there were some days I couldn't make it that long, but I sure did my best!
This week was a landmark week for me. I managed to march down to the ladies room and use it, twice, (once with someone in the stall next to me (something else I hate, I don't want to listen to you pee....and I don't want you to listen to me! Oh, and don't even THINK about talking!!!)). Sure, I am only comfortable in the corner stall, and prefer it when there is noone else in there with me; but it's good to know that if I want to, I can go!
So raise your cup to me today - the girl who can finally pee at work!
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